In relationships and at work, human expectations are not easy to understand.
One way of viewing them is as invisible strings that bond you with someone or something (a person or your work).
If you have zero expectations from your boss or your coworker, you will not care enough about that person’s connection with you. The person matters little to you or doesn’t matter to you at all.
Similarly, if you don’t like the work you’re doing, you will have dull workdays and your work will be a drag—you doing it just because you have nothing else to do.
By contrast, when you meet a person you like, or when you find meaningful work, you will spend more time with that person, or want to do more work. You will become attached to that person or work and will be ready to spend countless hours on that relationship or career.
In both cases, at work and in relationships, we tend to build our first invisible “strings” by a sense of liking the situation. Then, as we invest more time, effort, and energy our expectations increase. The more time we spend, the more our expectations naturally increase. And, with each increase, we build more invisible threads.
On the other end, if you start lowering expectations about your work, or about a person, chances are you will soon disconnect from your work or that person.
The results, benefits, fruits of hard work, and the expectations of compassion from relationships are all important as they help us build a meaningful life around ourselves.
We know that “over-expectations” can cause things to fail. But we also should acknowledge that expectations are important.
No expectations can mean the possibility of disconnection.
So, if you want to hang on to precious people in your life, and work that you enjoy—have expectations from them. But, having over-expectations or having zero expectations can both lead to disconnection.